The Confidence Curve

Lately I’ve been in a confidence dip, that subtle wobble when you start something new. The kind where you hesitate before speaking, reread every email twice (four times) and replay a meeting in your head even though you know it went fine.

It’s uncomfortable but I’ve felt it before, like earlier in my career and every time the ground shifted under me. It’s the space between knowing what you’re capable of and proving it again in a new environment.

I’m sharing this because I know I’m not the only one who’s felt the dip between competence and confidence, when everything around you is new.

So what I’m reminding myself is: this isn’t a crisis. It’s the cost of growth.

I actively chose to leave a business I built because I wanted to solve bigger problems. I wanted a wider view with a seat inside something larger than myself. I didn’t anticipate the confidence dip.

Growth trades fluency for friction.

That’s the only way it works and I forgot that for a little while. When everything is new, you can’t rely on muscle memory. Every move takes more thought, every decision more context.

When I ran my own business, I felt confident, but in hindsight I was just comfortable. It’s easy to feel certain when the rules are yours.

Confidence feels different when it’s earned inside someone else’s system. It’s like stepping into a dense forest. The light hits different and in some parts, not at all. The paths aren’t marked. You know how to walk, but not which way to go.

Ironically, that’s the point. The discomfort isn’t a flaw, it’s the signal you’re on new terrain (that you asked for).

Confidence isn’t linear, it curves: Sometimes it’s high with optimism then low with uncertainty and rising again as experience compounds.

So, the dip isn’t failure, just the price of new reps.

Some call this imposter syndrome. I hate that term. I’m not a fraud, I’m simply earning some fluency again.

And when I don’t feel fluent, I try to compensate. I over-prepare, double-check and chase perfection. This looks like diligence, but it’s merely control. I’m protecting myself from the discomfort of not knowing.

Then I realized I wasn’t chasing excellence, I was avoiding discomfort. What you’re avoiding controls you. So I stopped looking outward for validation and started looking inward for alignment (starting with this article).

Earning new proof is about integrity, and that’s only possible if you are staying anchored to what you know is right when you’re tempted to chase reassurance.

External validation feels good, obviously. But it’s only a spark, not a source. The danger is when the spark becomes the goal. Confidence isn’t built by applause, it’s only built by alignment.

This piece is my own version of learning by doing, turning reflection into motion. Sometimes the first way out of a confidence dip is to say it out loud to 500 of your friends 🫠.

If you’re somewhere on your own confidence curve, no matter if you’re new to the seat or seasoned in a new season…this is the work.

Use the dip to rebuild the foundation. You don’t need another class or another book (although this week’s reco is a good one). You simply need to slow down long enough to learn the new terrain.

The curve isn’t escapable, it’s something you earn your way through.

The only way out of the forest is forward. Climb by moving not thinking.

The bottom of the confidence curve isn’t weakness. It’s where conviction is forged.
Where you remember what you stand for when no one’s clapping.

Then, the next rise comes quietly. In the small moments where you trust your gut again.
Where you stop asking, am I doing this right? and start deciding what right looks like on your own.

Affiliate Link Disclaimer: Some of the links in this email are affiliate links, which means I may earn a small commission if you buy through them, at no extra cost to you.