The Ceramic Cup

A few weeks ago I came across a reel from Simon Sinek about a former Undersecretary of Defense.

When he keynoted a conference as Undersecretary, he was flown business class, chauffeured and handed coffee in a ceramic cup. A year later, no title attached, he flew coach, hailed his own taxi and poured coffee into a styrofoam cup.

His point: the perks were never for him. They belonged to the position.

I watched that reel several times because the message fits where I am right now. After 21 years and most recently, eight months of preparation, tomorrow I step into a role where the opportunity is as big as the responsibility, supporting leaders driving bold outcomes.

Here’s the distinction I keep coming back to: I’ll always be me. The title is something I hold. It reflects my work and my skills, but it isn’t my identity.

That’s not easy to admit. For most of my career, my identity has been wrapped up in my work. Much of it still is. I’m a work in progress.

Which is why I need this reminder now more than ever: titles are temporary. They can change, be restructured or disappear altogether. But the skills and judgment I’ve built are mine to keep.

The perks of the title (those ceramic cup moments) belong to the seat. My responsibility is to hold the cup with gratitude, use it well and never mistake it for mine.

This lesson is especially sharp for the Chief of Staff role. By design, the seat comes with access and visibility most people never get. But those privileges belong to the role, not the person.

What matters is how you use them. Anyone in the chair gets the ceramic cup. But it’s what you do with it that makes the role valuable and uniquely yours. A CoS isn’t there just to serve quietly. The job is to shape decisions, protect priorities and create the conditions for the principal and team to perform at their best.

A question I’m carrying into this role is simple: when the ceramic cup shows up, am I using it to make decisions sharper, priorities clearer or relationships stronger? If the answer is no, then I might be mistaking the perk for validation.

The truth is simpler: titles are finite. Skills, judgment and contribution endure.

The real privilege is to sit in the seat for a season, hold the cup with gratitude and leave behind impact that outlasts the title.

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